Today we practiced recrafting a pece of writing. The first paragrahs belong to aldosa and the second is micne.
Alosa
“On your marks, get set, “Bang” shouted Mr Burt. Off we went trying hard not to bang into each other. I was already muddy. Luckily I didn’t slip like some other girls did at the start line.
My
Standing at the start line, I waited nervously for Mr Burt to sound his clapper. “On your marks, get set, BANG!!!, shouted Mr Burt. As I set off towards the bushes, I tried not to crash into the other competitors. Passing my friends, I tried not to slip.
Good writing Jordan you have intelligence in writing.
ReplyDeleteHi jordan i like your writing i like how you tried your hardes
ReplyDeleteand pushing very far in your writing.